Sidelined

You’d think people would leave well enough alone. But we weren’t created that way. Anything other than that would mean Adam and Eve didn’t eat the forbidden fruit. To be ambitious is to be man; to want what someone else possesses is normal. Philosophers and theologists propound that man cannot be satisfied with what we have; he strives to better himself; wanting more and more. To what do we strive? Money? Love?

The most common example of robbery is between couples; married couples. ‘The other women’ usually  are campus students and scheming office colleagues (gggrrr). Attraction: the idea of thwarting the wife, money is heady stuff. Women (some of them) want what they can not have. Dancing at a bar/night club, this culprit’s eye will revert first to the guy standing with his girlfriend and then later to the group of single young men. Just the other night, I absentmindedly saw a girl press herself against an extremely good looking  guy’s backside while he slow danced with his date.

I cannot count the times I’ve heard girls, whether in a taxi or among my acquaintances (my friends WOULDN’T. am sure), talk about boys... ‘James likes you’. ‘Yeah, but he’s too sweet. Doesn’t exactly challenge me. What about Dan?’ “But Dan is married. Don’t bother’. ‘So what? I can have him if I want’.

Mark Twain said “Adam ate the apple not for apple’s sake but because it was forbidden”. The fact that a married man gives no sort of encouragement to this girl only serves to make her more interested. Tell a human being she cannot have or do something and she’ll do her damnest to prove she can. I myself have used this method to get a not-so-sharp guy (aren’t they all. Cant read signs and hints to save their lives) to do something.

Plus, I believe young women possess a tiny masochistic aspect in their personalities that likes being mistreated. A married man says “no” “I love my wife. Am not interested”. She reads it as a subtle try a little harder. This masochism is the same aspect that make heart breakers/’players’/’bad boys’ so attractive to girls. Give a little attitude and resistance and she’ll be eating out of your hands. Be the nicest sweetest person, and you’re boring. A special person told me how he was tricked into a compromising situation by one of his classmates. She promised him one of the latest movies premiering and he goes running only to be met by her nude self. While he protested and emphasized that he already had a girlfriend, she assured him that that didn’t matter in the least. She did not mind sharing, she simply could not let him go!

The other woman’s rationale; she wants to believe that she can manage to do what others couldn’t possibly pull of. To prove to herself and others that she has the wiles to attract a married man; to do better than his wife.

80% of men who cheat eventually return to their wives. After being in a marriage or relationship for a long time, a routine is set; many couples forget to keep things spicy, do the things that made them fall in love with each other in the first place. Enter the hot single predatory girl. She’s usually younger, different from his wife in personality and lifestyle... Men mature slower and even at 50, he’ll still want to act like a vibrant 18 year old.

The husband’s attraction is new, different sex with a younger woman, resurrection of old feelings. The other woman’s attraction is a chance at a relationship, maturity, taking someone else’s husband (it’s a bed notching deal for some girls); and honestly, a married man is more likely to be wealthy than a single younger man.

80% of women make the mistake of believing he will leave his wife for her. This other woman a lot of times wants more of a boyfriend than a husband.  She wants parties, vacations, mindless spending, and the high life. The husband wants a change in the routine...But he soon realizes age has caught up with him, his priorities have changed, he wants a mature home maker...I.e. his wife.

The other woman realizes that while the clandestine meetings, motels and forbidden love  exciting at first, its not enough any more. She wants more. Nights spent with her. Introduction to his friends. Access to his phone.  A label to the relationship. He realizes the affair is becoming expensive and he wants to break it off with little or no blood shed.

A cultured, classy, intelligent woman would know when to cut her losses and move on; usually after making sure he has set her up in a business or handed over some other asset. An uneducated woman resists the separation, turns stalker, abusive towards his wife. Others go to the extreme and believe that getting themselves pregnant will ensure his love, support and recognition. More likely than not, they get the raw deal.

It’s a long, rocky, unhappy path. Relationships born out of an innocent party’s pain never last. Karma’s a bitch. It may be a phase or knowledge that universally speaking, women outnumber men; but, take comfort in the fact that a lot of women are going gay or becoming nuns. Otherwise you’ll have trouble getting past St. Peter on judgment day.

Sincerely,

Schpiel.